If you can't say anything nice

I love working in public practice. In fact, I enjoy it so much more than my time in corporate. My finance peers are professional, friendly, and helpful. There’s none of the political game-playing I used to see in the suit-and-tie world, where people jostled for position to look good in front of their boss.

That difference is exactly why I hopped on the “owning my own small business” wagon. Like so many of my peers, I wanted to row my own boat. I wanted to help small businesspeople thrive.

For the past 12 years, I’ve been lucky to meet passionate professionals who care deeply about their clients and generously support others in the industry. There has always been more than enough work to go around (some might even say too much work!), which meant no reason to compete for clients and no space for animosity.

But lately, I’ve noticed a shift. Not in person — our industry in real life is still overwhelmingly kind — but online.

Professional social platforms are changing. What used to feel supportive and encouraging is now starting to sound a little more like the wider internet: less kindness, more criticism. Keyboard warriors are creeping into spaces that once felt safe and collegial.

Why? I’ve asked myself that question.

• Maybe professional sites have simply gone mainstream. They’re no longer just a place to park your résumé — they’re now broad social networks. With that shift, the tone mirrors the rest of the internet, where snark and disagreement get louder than encouragement.
• Maybe the algorithms are to blame. Controversy attracts clicks, and posts that spark strong reactions (positive or negative) travel further. That can draw people in not to support, but to criticise or provoke.
• Or maybe it’s the “anonymity effect.” Even with names and photos visible, and even though everyone in this industry has about a 1 degree of separation from anyone else, the distance of a screen makes some people bolder, harsher, or less empathetic than they’d ever be face-to-face.

The silver lining? For every mean comment, there’s usually a silent majority reading with empathy and appreciation, even if they don’t always click “like” or type a reply.

So, I’m taking the advice of a colleague who knows these spaces better than I do and I am curating my feed. I am unfollowing the negative voices, following the supportive ones, and filling my online world with the same kindness I experience daily in our industry.

My dad was an especially kind human, and one of his favourite sayings was borrowed straight from Flower in Bambi. He said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

That’s the motto I’m continuing to choose to live (and comment) by.

Stay kind and hit the beach!